How to Tell Your Cat About Trump by Breaking Burgh

Author:Breaking Burgh [Burgh, Breaking]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Breaking Burgh Books
Published: 2017-06-21T23:00:00+00:00

Emphasize That None Of This Is Your Cat’s Fault

In addition to anxiety over being unwillingly grabbed by Donald Trump – fears you have hopefully now allayed – your cat may also be dealing with unresolved guilt that it contributed to this political disaster. It is important that you communicate to your animal friend that, being a cat, it bears no responsibility for the embarrassing electoral disaster that has befallen the nation. To do this you must acknowledge the ways in which your cat might have been led to believe it was responsible and correct the misunderstandings one by one.

Cat memes

This is the most likely reason why your cat has erroneously concluded it bears some responsibility for recent political events. Much of the discourse concerning the 2016 election and its aftermath took place on social media, which also happens to be overrun with images of cats. It's hardly a surprise that your cat attributed some level of causation to this overwhelming correlation.

Once you tell your cat that people like seeing pictures of cats online even if it bears no relation to the subject at hand, your cat will unquestioningly accept your explanation because it appeals to its vanity.

The word "pusillanimous"

This word, meaning a lack of courage or determination, does not relate directly to cats as it comes from the ecclesiastical Latin pusillanimis made up from pusillus (very small) and animus (mind). Your cat should not take it as a slur or indication that it did not do enough to prevent a thin-skinned, petulant reality TV star from taking the White House.

The word "pussyfoot"

This word, meaning to dance around a subject nimbly and refuse to commit to a firm decision, does indeed come from a stereotype of cats and their natural instinct to be circumspect. But don't be afraid to tell your cat this as it will be proud of the association. Plunging ahead and making firm decisions gave us President Trump after all.

Puns in general

Here the word “catastrophe” as applied to the last election is the big culprit, along with Trump-related jokes employing phrases like “You've got to be KITTEN me!” and “This President is imPAWSible!”. First, explain to your cat that catastrophe comes from the Greek kata (down) and strophē (turning) and has nothing to do with felines. You will also need to explain the concept of punning to your cat as it is a phenomenon unique to humans.

Detoxify the situation by avoiding cat-related puns and focus instead on puns like “EGGSactly”, as there is no love lost between cats and fowl. You may find that your cat looks at you with a mixture of disgust and pity after this. This is because your cat now realizes that the higher cognitive abilities you possess, which it had such respect for, are used for crap like this.

Your cat may argue that perhaps it should have had the vote too as then Hillary would have won.

Agree with it.

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